Active military and veterans have to put up with alot from the civilian masses. The closest these people have ever come to your experience is playing ‘Call of Duty’ on their PlayStation, or watching ‘Full Metal Jacket’ on TV. Putting it mildly, civilians can be pretty ignorant.
So it comes as no surprise that they make inane remarks and ask moronic questions, the worst of which is “Have you ever killed anyone?” It doesn’t matter if the query is innocently lobbed at you by a friend or relative, or zinged at you by a relative stranger you just met, its still offensive and infuriating.
Whatever your kill status, this question puts you in a heck of an uncomfortable spot. Its insensitive at the very least and downright rude, and guess what, its nobody’s effin business. But you’re military, and trained to keep a lid on your emotions.
So rather than stand there dumbfounded at the absurdity, or slap your head Homer Simpson style and cry “Doh!”, here’s a top 5 list of fail- safe responses anyone who’s served in the military can use that are sure to silence the well intended fool or the ignorant jerk. Be sure to apply sarcasm as required.
You’ll have to scroll down to the bottom to get our favorite idiot-proof comeback, number 5. No spoiler alert here, but this one’s guaranteed to stop the unsuspecting nitwits in their tracks!
Check them out below and be sure to catch our favorite, #5, which will stop any moron dead in their tracks.
1. “No, but I’m starting to consider it.”
This is probably the most effective comeback. Just give the questioner the nastiest stank eye you can muster to make them really uncomfortable, like maybe they’ll be the first.
2. “Including women and children?”
OK, this is pretty offensive and distasteful, but it beats punching them in the face. A similar comeback is “No one who mattered.” This should shock them enough to exit the conversation, if not your immediate vicinity.
3. “Deployed or stateside?”
Forcing them to consider this question just might stun them into realizing what an a-hole they are being. However, if their light bulb is dim and the line of questioning continues, you can always revert to answer #5.
4. “I was a pretty bad medic.”
If you are feeling charitable, you can always go with humor. This should be reserved for truly well-meaning fools, old ladies and loved ones.
If these 4 comebacks don’t stop the inane questions, our fool-proof response on the next page will shut them up, guaranteed!